do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
