I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
