best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
