I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize