I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
there's paper in my vomit.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
This is the high leading the old right now
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
