Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize