one two three fourrrrnication!
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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