She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
