My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
