i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
