Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
