he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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