so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
