then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize