There was a lot of him and a little penis
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
