so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
