There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My ATM looks so different sober.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
