Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
