Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
