A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
