Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
This is my life. Enjoy the view
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
