...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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