Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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