fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
