Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
