I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Small penises have feelings too.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
