We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
