i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
