shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the day after is always just damage control
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize