i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
