I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
