Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
