I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
