Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
