This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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