So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
