Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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