Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
