Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
