So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
