He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
