there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
