I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
