He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
