i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize