Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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