Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
