what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
