I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
