i'm signing you up for texting rehab
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
