Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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