All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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