In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
