found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
