Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
