garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Did I show you my penis last night?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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