Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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