He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
