All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Drake has all the answers
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
