i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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