first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
