There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
