he puts the penis in happiness.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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