Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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