toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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