Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
