college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
