I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
