sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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